Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. #tdor
I acknowledge trans and gender diverse people have the same potential to contribute to society and economy as the broader population, are creative and lateral thinking generally, have great insight specifically into gender and therefore can assist in issues relating to gender such as #metoo and achieving 100% respect for women, every face, every place.
I say that on this day, not to deny or un-affirm the Trans Day of Remembrance. I say it to highlight the travesty of the loss. The huge contrast of people being murdered just because they of who they are when they had lives to live, dreams to realise and loved ones who cared highlights why we will always need to honour this day and make sure we get to a 20 November one year where no more names are added to those we have already lost.
I acknowledge the huge issues of intersectionality including with people of colour, newly arrived, TGD people in the sex industry to name but a few. I ask with humility how I can be a better ally to those TGD people with intersections beyond my own sense of identity and how we can work together more effectively to achieve more social justice and equity for all within the TGD community.
I ask on this day that trans and gender diverse people come together in strength and solidarity with our supportive families, partners and loved ones. I ask for existing allies to re-affirm that they are right next to us through good and bad and for new allies to learn and come on board. I ask for all allies to always consult with us on any point because we can offer the lived expertise to result in better win-win outcomes. We can get to that particular 20 November where there are no more names added more quickly and effectively when we are together in true equality and creating win-win solutions.
Our love and compassion will hold strong and we will achieve our aims. Peace and strength on this day.
So, 365 days ago, I woke up with much anxiety – yes, it is a year since the announcement of the postal survey.
I am happy for those who now have had their marriages that they could not previously have. I am happy for those who have had previously unrecognised marriages recognised. I remember when I received my passport that had an “F” 3 years ago and how that outside validation affirmed my inner validation of my being part of our communities. Now couples other than male or female are equally externally validated and their love is recognised – a very good thing.
All the same, I cannot celebrate this day. I am still reminded of the pain of my direct communities of identity, trans and bi, being sold out. I am reminded of those beyond my identity (multicultural, people of faith, people of colour, intersex for starters) who when I listen to them, say they have felt the same.
Note that word: listen.
We have an increasing crisis of how we do leadership in our communities where so many so-called leaders won’t listen in so many ways.
None of the so-called leaders who threw so many other people under the bus have changed their approach in the last 12 months. The power-players, careerists, pragmatists are still going about things the same way. Pragmatism always trashes the most vulnerable. (For pragmatism read lazy, brain-dead and gutless). Real leaders in social justice settings aim to level the playing field rather than keep the mountain steep and treacherous for the most marginalised to climb. They don’t think they have to listen to those marginalised voices when they are the ones crying out most loudly.
Re this one, I again acknowledge Rodney Croome as the only person with the integrity, self-honesty, authenticity and humility to admit the throwing people under the bus was wrong. As stated previously, I’ve had my differences with Rodney over the years; I also state strongly he has one thing that the sell-outs don’t have. I see the ability to connect to his heart and work in conjunction with his mind. I say the self-rationalising manipulative minds need to learn about listening to their hearts and we might start to get somewhere.
I still experience the same hypocrisy of lateral hostility, for example when non-bi types think they can dictate what goes into the bi section in an election wishlist and I have to fight like hell to get bi even mentioned at all. That they think they don’t have to listen to bi people when they are not bi or bi-specialist organisations is the depth of hypocrisy, yet some of these people really believe they are allies. Some write up bi policy papers and don’t even consult bi people – and get it very wrong. Seriously…
Before people say “bi and trans need to break away” – I say no. How come? Most of these so-called leaders are not listening to the grass roots of their own communities. I overwhelmingly meet cis gays and lesbians who want truly diverse and intersectional representation and quality leadership. I often think if the LGBTI leadership was one properly resourced organisation with clear values and a funded human resources department, most so-called leaders wouldn’t last 12 months before they had received 3 warnings on bullying and discrimination and then heard the words of Mr McMahon… “You’re fired!” While we need to work together, the problem with phrases like that is that they don’t talk about HOW we work together. So, let’s say: we work together with processes based on respect, equality, professionalism and always aiming for win-win solutions.
We have celebrity activists who think because they repeatedly post on social media that makes them leaders – no. To them I say learn to listen to your consciences, get some substance underneath yourselves, do some personal and professional development or get a job in marketing. Publicity for the sake of publicity is not leadership no matter what 21st century culture makes us believe.
I know many of those who fall short have had people talk to them in an effort to “call in.” I can sense strongly we are at a breaking point where we might start need to “call out.” Our communities will not achieve full equality while we continue to ignore elephants in the room – elephants that are crapping big time out one end and trumpeting loudly out the other. We cannot build on cracked foundations any longer and paper over cracks in the walls. It’s time for a re-blocking.
I look forward to people putting on their rainbow overalls and doing the reblocking with me.